Last night I collected a prize for writing, adventures from our sailing activities. It could bring new opportunities. This, at the same time as having a knee injury, which seems to limit everything. Oh, how the Universe works. I am motivated for writing, at a time when I am recognised. The synchronicity is wonderful. Writing ‘Hurt’ was at times an arduous process, rewarding in many ways, but through the dark days of trying to craft the book it is, it was tough.

I’m not sure where this writing is going, but I’m feeling like I want to study as well. Perhaps I will respond to one of the adverts that l see around in the writing press. Perhaps I should just get on with it. I am prone to over think.

Sometimes opportunities just present themselves. Should we grab them whilst they are there? Or perhaps just nod in their direction. It seems, to me, that I am being drawn to writing, more than a blog or a sailing journal. It’s just I don’t know what that is. Perhaps that doesn’t matter, perhaps it is just surrendering to the possibility. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Perhaps I’d just better get on with the delicious art of working with words.





The ability to question, to reason, is what sets us apart from other inhabitants of our planet.  It is a blessing, and a curse.  It can drive us forward, and it can hold us back.  It can expand our horizons and send us into ever decreasing circles.  As a therapist, it is one of the questions that I hear most in the counselling room.  Why?  Why has this happened?  Why has this happened, now?  Why me?  Why, why, why?  It is a question of some torture, because sometimes answers are hard to come by.  What, when, where… these are easier ones to grab hold of.  How sometimes remains a mystery, but why is the stuff of anguish.

How many times have you thought ‘why has this happened?’.  I know it’s a question that’s battered my consciousness from time to time.  Recently quite a lot.  I have sustained an acute injury to my left knee, a tear of the medial collateral ligament (I didn’t realise I had any until a few weeks ago), which has rendered me pretty immobile, and in considerable discomfort.  In the days after the fluke accident, when it didn’t settle with the “RICE” process, I got increasingly frustrated.  ‘Why has this happened?’  I kept on asking.  ‘What is the purpose of this?’  For it is my belief that things happen for a reason.  I’m not much closer to understanding why, but I am less frustrated, because of the process of my thoughts and the passage of time.

I have learned that a torn ligament will take longer than a broken bone to mend.  If I want to recover well, I have to rest as well as stimulate (under the guidance of a wonderful physiotherapist) my knee.  I need to allow up to three months for recovery, at the end of which, I should have a fully functioning knee.  In understanding all of this, I’ve got to a place of acceptance.  I’m still wondering why, but not from a place of agitation.  Perhaps I will never know why, perhaps I will.   For now, I must wait.


A question of ‘risk’



“Risk” used to be the area of work that I knew something about.  Understanding risks, assessing risks and managing risks.  It’s a field of work that I left sometime ago, and it came as quite a surprise to be round the dinner table at the weekend talking about it.  Especially in the context of current Social Worker training.  Now, in my own risk management, I’m not going to name the person, the Social Services Team or the leading Children’s Charity that delivered the training.  I wasn’t there, but I wholly trust the person who was. Continue reading A question of ‘risk’

Another Catholic cover-up

I find the whole business of the story of Cardinal Keith O’Brien troubling, and at the same time, sadly it doesn’t surprise me.  The Catholic Church has a shameful history of abuse, which the hierarchies have tried to hide.  But, truth will out, and so it has over the years.

The latest scandal involves Cardinal Keith O’Brien, who has today issued a statement to apologise for conduct that fell short of what was expected.  That he has done wrong according to his faith – and hopefully not committed any criminal act – is for his own conscience.  That others have felt shamed and betrayed is something else.  I read today that they were, perhaps threatened is too strong a word, but being leaned on to keep the story to themselves, as they risked bringing shame on the Church.  This is a greater wrong.  The deception, the lies, the hypocrisy of Religion.

What is perhaps more troubling, is that it was going to be swept under the carpet by Rome.  Cardinal O’Brien was summoned to Rome last year, according to The Times today:

A first complaint was made against Cardinal O’Brien last October, when a parish priest from Scotland wrote to the Congregation for Bishops at the Vatican.

He was summoned to Rome and it became known that he would retire as Archbishop of St Andrews and Edinburgh on his 75th birthday this month, supposedly because of ill health. A week ago allegations from four other men were made public and his resignation became immediate. It emerged yesterday that complaints included “lewd, bawdy, inappropriate behaviour” and “drunken fumblings”.

How can this institution be trusted when this is the tone from the top?  I also heard today, on the Radio, that Cardinal Mahony, a US Cardinal is still entitled to vote, despite facing legal prosecution for covering up for priests who have sexually abused children.  Read it here.  How can one Cardinal resign, and one stay?  How can it be trusted to heal itself from these endemic, systematic cover ups?  It is deeply troubling.