If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough

Whinchat shortly after the start line
Whinchat shortly after the start line

My post today is dedicated to my husband, who has just begun his first long distance yacht race. AZAB 2015 departed from Falmouth (UK) to The Azores… and then back again.  Approximately 1200 nautical miles (each way), expected to take somewhere between 8-10 days (each way). He signed up for the race about 18 months ago, fulfilling one of his big ambitions… crossing oceans and the like! For a long time it’s been a far-off thing, but as the countdown went from months to weeks, and from weeks to days, his anxiety levels have mounted. The last days have been tough. At times he’s looked scared, and at others quite lost.  He’s long given up on asking me to accompany him (it’s a dual handed race), because it’s not my dream. I have no desire to cross the Atlantic shelf by anything other than a 747!

He knew that he would grow more anxious, that the days before the start he would sleep less, worry more and be more tricksy to be around! I’ve wanted to tell him it would be OK to pull out, but that’s my own anxiety about it, not his. It wouldn’t be OK for him, so despite all of the internal churning, and the banter from his friends and fellow-racers, today he crossed the start line. I am desperately worried about him (and will be all week) but I am also immensely proud of him. I handed him a bundle of cards this morning, one for each day, some of them are jokey, some are motivational, some are just plain sweet…

If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough

… was one that caught my eye. That truly excites me as a statement, and I think Pete will appreciate it. So, what am I doing that scares me. That’s what I  thought. My novel, the anxiety about the gig racing, but what else is there? Perhaps I need to take a leaf out of my husband’s book and keep pushing myself. As if this race wasn’t enough, later this year he will go transatlantic for the first time – and yes, I’ll be on the 747 for that one! This week away gives much inspiration and opportunity for time to reflect.

 

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