I managed to ignore the screams of the gulls that gathered on the rooftop of Castaways just before first light. They couldn’t peel me out from the layers of slumber. Not long after, with the tide high in the creek and reasonable light, the giant machinery used to haul boats in and out of the water grumbled into life. Sleep over. It was a moment or two until I felt the familiar pull across my left side, the tightly drawn corset, and a ripple of pain as I shifted in bed. I looked up at the ceiling, staring into the blank space of my own version of ‘Groundhog Day.’
On any road to recovery, there are good days and bad days, and ultimately I know that the relative distribution of these will decide on how progress will fall. Today started off as a bad day, falling into all too familiar, of limited routines and potential. Even the sun, a welcome visitor these last days, had given up, leaving the day shrouded in a curtain of grey.
Those first movements, from horizontal to vertical, take supreme effort, as muscle and sinue rub against each other, bones flex, and the diaphragm tightens, sending sharp waves crashing through the body. I am a few paces away from the first painkillers of the day, swallowed as a greedy handful. I glance at the clock, noting when I can take the next batch.
Over breakfast the day shifts again. Brussels is bombed. Those poor people, killed, maimed, frightened, scarred. Everything is relative. My little world of frustration dissolves, as I think of Belgium, and those lives transformed in an instant. I cannot understand why anyone would do such a thing – yes, I understand in my head, but my heart and my soul can only weep.
I continued to do those things that make up my Groundhog Day, with a heavier heart, but not for me. Oh what a world we live in. In holding the perspective, as I walked a little further today, I thought about the picture I’d put on Instagram yesterday. Progress may be slow, but it is progress.
If you are not familiar with the film, Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray, and is the inspiration for the title, take a look at the trailer…